So, this was a second day at my Doctor's clinic. Me and two friends are planning to travel to Austin, for what think is going to be an amazing wedding. I want to make the trip easier for my friends, so I'm attempting to arrange to have a catheter for the trip. I've had it done for camping trips a few years ago. I usually use a bedpan and I know it's complicated. For a 13 hour drive, I don't want to have to get in and out, abusing my friend's back. 

But, of course, paperwork makes things convoluted. I was being discouraged from getting what I wanted. It seems even this request is seen as out of the ordinary and difficult to grant. Once again, I had to work for it, had to explain why it was important. If I'd been asking for a permanent catheter, they were okay with it. But at least one urologist basically stated that it wan't worth their time to work with me. The concept that I have an adventure planned is just too unheard of to deal with at all. As if I am wasting their time, it's truly disappointing. 

During the first day, my blood pressure was really high and I was asked to return the next day, as directed by the nurse practitioner. So, today, I had blood work and a meeting with my doctor. He is much more agreeable, knows I know what I am doing and the physical possibilities. You know, actually knowing what I want, what is good for me and how to go about it. Rather than being in a system that wants to make things easier and smoother for THEM. Even the simple request for a little adventure breaks their brains. The system does love to warehouse people. I'm not one of those people. 

So, tonight, I am watching a lovely happy/sad movie and feeling my blood pressure drop. I think the anxiety from making arrangements and internalizing a lot of my friends' stress has taken a toll on me. So, you know, relax. I'm ramped up and wanting things to go PERFECT. And there is no such thing. But it will be an amazing trip. And it scares me in a good way.